Psychology of human sexual relationship has been the matter of debate since time immemorial. In this paper we try to understand the differences between sexual desires and romantic relationship. We also compare different methodologies to assess human bonding and relationships. According to Diamond (2004) women and men are different in their perception of sexual desire and romantic love. Women in general are more likely to have their first sexual encounter through a heterosexual relationship, while most men experience sexual desire in the context of masturbation. Human endocrine system plays an important role in determining how we perceive sexual desire and romantic relationships. The hormones such as Oxytocin, Vasopressin, and dopamine  are often responsible for romantic love and have been revealed to elicit similar emotions for same-sex individuals in heterosexual individuals (Diamond, 2004).

            According to the research conducted by Bowlby (1982), attachment was described as an evolutionary construct that allowed infants to stay in close proximity to caregivers. Attachment in romantic relationships can have emotional effects similar to that of mother infant bonds wherein separation can lead to distress in both partners. Evolutionary biologists opine that romantic relationships may use similar endocrine pathways as mother-infant bond but underline the importance of keeping reproductive partners together for the rearing of young.  Evolutionary biologists believe that pair bonding and romantic love may be an exaptation, i.e., an adaptation that developed for a different reason and was carried forward to serve a different purpose altogether(Hazan & Zeifman, 1999).

            Sexual desire is unrelated to infant-caregiver bond and in the modern society it is channeled through the institution of marriage. Socio-cultural norms proclaim that humans feel sexual desire only towards romantic partners but more often than not, this exclusivity remains unfounded and unproven. According to Tennov (1998), “limerence” is the stage of love when both partners feel intense sexual desire for one another. To the chagrin of most men, the limerence stage does not endure and is soon followed and replaced by the “companionate” stage of love when romantic pairs bond. While love can be hard to measure, sexual arousal can be measured by looking at brain maps of subjects using MRI (non-invasive) and in genitalia inspection (invasive).

Methodologies of studying close relationships

            Before conducting a scientific study, we must design a sampling strategy and data collection protocol to account for underlying biases in our judgment.  Especially when we are studying human relationships, our superstitions and personal biases may also influence the study results if proper precautionary measures are not taken.

Trade-off problem

            Whenever we choose a certain sampling strategy, it is often a tradeoff between efficiency and accuracy(Ickes, 2015). When we speak about human relationships, one cannot speak in absolutes but in order to get the right picture, we need the right perspective, obtrusiveness of method, and ethical questions. At the end of the day, social scientists would want to have a method that is accurate and precise and provides reliable information that can be replicated across geo-socio-political contexts.

Self-Report methods

            Self-Report methods are generally easy to implement and can generate a lot of data pertaining numerous test subjects (couples). Quite interestingly, self-report methods allow researchers to make test subjects more candid and reveal information about private behavior that may not be observable in the laboratory. However, human memory is poor and presents a distorted and self-centered view of the past. Test subjects often are incapable of reporting how their partners felt after a certain interaction accurately. Self-report methods are also likely to lead to various self-defensive responses to questions that may have been perceived by subjects. Therefore, self-report methods should account for the result of both persons in the relationship to have a more unbiased test result.

Observational and Experimental Methods

            Observational methods are reliable in terms of data validity and have the special advantage of being objectively recorded facts. Researchers can design experiments to understand the relationship dynamics between the couple. The observational methods of relationship data require sophisticated equipment and elaborate logistical facilities. Such methods also require trained raters who can observe, and code behaviors of interest between couples across various contexts. Although observational methods are usually reliable, it can lead to invasion of privacy of the test subjects.

            Everything else remaining same, experimental methods are observational setup in which couples are evaluated through causal relationships between a selection of independent variables and dependent variables measured by experimenters.

Physiological Methods

            Physiological methods are a great addition to other methods available to social scientists, it adds another level of detail to observational and experimental studies of couple behavior patterns. Physiological methods provide experimenters with the opportunity to measure the visceral reaction of individuals in response to manipulations of independent variables of the study.

            A study conducted by (Aron et al., 2005), was based on the underlying reward and motivation behind human romantic relationships. This study was conducted to assess the reward and motivation dynamics of 7 men and 10 women who professed to be in love for 1-17 months. The study used both experimental and physiological measures to understand the reward and motivational aspects of romantic love in men and women. Subjects were shown photographs of the beloved (positive response) and that of a known relative (neutral stimulus) and were underwent a fMRI scan. The two stimuli were shown to subjects and their responses to the same was measured. The blood oxygen level of each participant was also measured during the test. The study found that there was significant correlation between self-reported feelings of love and the physiological response through subcortical region activation. The results of this study conclusively show that self-report methods, coupled with experimental set up can be a good tool to understand the underlying mechanisms affecting romantic relationships. The reward and goal centers of the brain were most highly activated in the test subjects who reported intense feeling of love during the test.

            The results of this study help us better understand the psychology and the underlying physiological mechanisms that drive romantic love and sexual desire. Self-report studies can be augmented and validated through physiological methods, which can improve understanding of sexual and romantic relationships and create more harmony in the society.

Conclusion

            Therefore, we see from the two main papers that we discussed by Diamond (2004) and Ickes (2015) that in essence the biological and evolutionary processes determining sexual behavior and long-term relationships operate differently and must be measured carefully. Ickes (2015) specially cautions us regarding the fallacy of trade-off that may fail to reveal answers to questions being asked by social scientists. It is clear that we need to understand that advantages and disadvantages associated with each method and adjust for it in the study methodology. As mentioned by Ickes (2015) it may be a good idea to conduct studies to incorporate data from one or more methodologies to get more reliable data.

References

• Aron, A., Fisher, H., Mashek, D. J., Strong, G., Li, H., & Brown, L. L. (2005). Reward, motivation, and emotion systems associated with early-stage intense romantic love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 94(1), 327–337.
• Bowlby, J. (1982). Attachment and loss: Retrospect and prospect. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 52(4), 664.
• Diamond, L. M. (2004). Emerging perspectives on disctinctions between romantic love and sexual desire. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 13(3), 116–119. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.0963-7214.2004.00287.x
• Hazan, C., & Zeifman, D. (1999). Pair bonds as attachments. Handbook of Attachment: Theory, Research, and Clinical Applications, 336–354.
• Ickes, W. (2015). Methods of studying close relationships, (January 1994).
• Tennov, D. (1998). Love and limerence: The experience of being in love. Scarborough House.